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November 22, 2012

Well it’s Thanksgiving and I’m at my parents’ house for a 1:00 Thanksgiving dinner.  I left Lauren at my apartment, because …she’s still there.  I guess I could tell her to get the fuck out, but I can never bring myself to say or do anything mean to girls.  I’m kind of a sucker like that.  If Emma was talking to me, I’d have her get rid of Lauren for me, and she would do it too.  Emma usually asks me to go with her on Thanksgiving in the evening and I have a lot of fun with her family, but she didn’t call me.  I am so fucking sad my whole body aches.  I can’t just let this go on, I have to resolve things with her.  And though Lauren is hot and sweet and barely ever talks, I need my space.  She’s intruding upon me which is why I didn’t bother to ask her to come today.

But anyway, I’ll say one more cynical thing before I give my list of Thanks.  One thing I don’t like about Thanksgiving is that I think every Native American, Indigenous Person, American Indian, not sure what they prefer to be called I think it varies, but I think they all hate me.  Hate me for what settlers did in the past, and that bothers me.  I was not those people, and if I was, I’d hate to think I would ever do anything so deceptive and cruel and violent.  Besides, my ancestry in the U.S. is young, beginning in the 1900′s, on both my mom’s and my dad’s sides, so none of that had anything to do with my family.  In fact, my family were also abused, being Romani and all.

Anyway, last thing about that, though the foundation of Thanksgiving stems from atrocities I don’t even like to think about, for contemporary people it has become something else.  For my family, and I think this goes for most families, we celebrate Thanksgiving as a time to acknowledge all our blessings and everything we should be Thankful for, even little things that we neglect to recognize in our daily lives.  For my family it has nothing to do with the past, rather it’s about the moment, and enjoying family and friends and good food.  It’s essentially a very pagan kind of ritual if anyone would choose to view it that way.

Whatever, here are the things I’m grateful for.

WALL GRIMM’S LIST OF THINGS HE’S THANKFUL FOR:

my family, Emma, Sharly, my job, Gary Oldman, Christopher Walken, bikini briefs, cigarettes, food, beer, whiskey, my apartment, my landlord, blow jobs, books, flushable toilets, camping, Kari Byron from MythBusters, Tylenol, Dunkin Donuts coffee, my laptop, my cell phone, trees, the Walking Dead, zombies in general are very cool, when girls wear red lipstick, tongue rings, the Red Sox, Boston, Sicily, Earl, showers, the ocean, nude beaches, and there’s much more…

Mostly I’m thankful to be alive, because I should have died many times.  I’m thankful that I have the mind that I do, because I try to accept things and learn from experience.  I also know that I’m very fortunate in many ways even though I struggle in my life, and it’s almost a constant battle with myself to make the right choices.  I’m thankful that I survived as much as I have because I like the person I am.