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Refer to the FAY Index page for a chronological list of posts and their shortlinks: http://wp.me/P2DnTA-ko

 

My weariness causes my equilibrium to throw me off balance and I collapse, still conscious, but my mind… I have no energy for thoughts, it is empty.  There is nothing left for me to think.

So I am weak and done for and decide to quit.  I’m ready to die.  I sit in this pitiful state for a long time before the rage hits me.  It sneaks up on me and invades me.  It completely takes over my mind and body like a navigator.  The rage becomes my chemistry and takes control.  I stand and pace, waiting once again.  Something will happen.  Something must happen.  I will wait.  I will be ready.  I will fight to save my daughter and will not weaken until she is safe.  If I should find that she is dead, my rage will abandon me and once again I will be ready to die.

Four more days of water.  On the fifth day, I take the shot of brandy and it goes right into my head.  At first I have the haziness of a good buzz.  Then I suspect it may have been poisoned.  I lose consciousness.

Odd.  I wake up in white trousers and a white shirt.  Barefoot again and tied to a chair.  I am in the same library.  It causes me to wonder, as the brandy must have been drugged, if each shot was drugged and my route out was by taking it.  I only am moved from the situation to situation during unconsciousness.  If the brandy has always been drugged, it’s frustrating to think that I could’ve gotten out of there much sooner.  I couldn’t know for sure.

Either that or these people can predict my actions and knew that would be the day that I would decide to drink.

No answer is too crazy to contemplate for me anymore.  This far, anything is possible.  I have gone over scenario after scenario.  Aliens; experiments; dreams; deaths; I might even be catatonic somewhere in an institution and as I physically am immobile, my mind remains active; I may have some sort of food poisoning that manipulated my brain chemistry; time may not be as long as it seems.  I may wake up, or come to, or regain senses and find all this has only been one evening.  Or this could all be an LSD flashback from a bad trip I had in University.

Anything is possible.

…to be continued…

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