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Refer to the FAY Index page for a chronological list of posts and their shortlinks: http://wp.me/P2DnTA-ko

There is a pounding that echoes prominently through my brain, over and over again.  It won’t stop until it breaks me from unconsciousness.  I sit up in a bed.  It’s my own bed.  I look around and this is my room, my bed, my world.  This is not reality, it can’t be.  It can’t be as simple as having been all a dream.  If that was the case, then none of it happened.  Not even Fay.  I took Fay and I left this place.  This is no longer my bed.

The pounding penetrates every cell and membrane that makes me what I am.  I stand and I am naked and I hazily wander until I distinguish the pounding as a fist upon my front door.  Then I hear a voice, “This is the police, open up.  We have a warrant.”  I pause in order to try and sort out reality and the imaginary world.  I have no idea what is happening, what has happened, or why it’s all happening to me.

My head throbs like my skull is pressing in and I almost feel the juices of my brain begin to stream out of my ears.  I know I should dress myself and answer the door but there is a disconnect preventing any movement.  The door is broken in then, after one blow from an officer’s body and four cops rush in.  They grab me, twist me around and slam me flat down.  My face hits hard against the wood floor and I feel inside my mouth with my tongue, pushing a tooth, hanging by a thread of skin from my gums.  They pull my arms up behind my back nearly pulling my shoulder out of socket.  They bind me with the plastic wrist holds so tightly, that not long afterwards, my fingertips become scratchy from developing numbness.  I talk over them as they read me my Miranda rights.

I repeat over and over again, “What’s going on?  What did I do?  Don’t you know what’s happened to me?”

They talk louder over my voice, shoving me around, seeming to have the intentions of bruising my body as much as possible.  Their words mesh together, a sonorous, malign chanting that stirs my gut, and the only words I understand don’t make any sense.  It can’t be what they say, it can’t be true.  I have no idea what is going on, but this can’t be reality.  I’d rather the other world that I was trapped in was real.  It was torture but this is worse.

They tell me I’m being charged with the abduction and murder of my little girl.  I can’t have done such a thing to Fay.

…to be continued…

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