Tags

, , , ,

A woman paces back and forth, speaking to herself until a man makes his presence known.  Throughout the play, they exhibit anxious movement, and range of emotions, as they are in early stages of withdrawal.

JOSEPHINE:  …I’m alone…I am alone…I’m…alone…

MARCO:  Who’re you talking to?

JOSEPHINE:  Did you get the shit?

MARCO:  No–

JOSEPHINE:  But I’ve been waiting.  All this time I thought you were getting it.  You were supposed to get it.

MARCO:  It’s coming, it’s coming.

JOSEPHINE:  Well go get it!

MARCO:  Josephine, I never said I was getting it, relax, it’s ok.  John’s gone to get it.

JOSEPHINE:  You trust him?!  He’ll never come, he’ll run off with it.  He’s gone, he’s long gone by now.  Marco, what the hell were you thinking?!

MARCO:  John’s good.  Don’t worry.

JOSEPHINE:  I’ve been sitting here with nothing.  Alone all this time…You’ve been out and getting things done.  It’s harder to sit and wait than to be a part of things.

MARCO:  I know, Josephine, I know.  I’m sorry.

JOSEPHINE:  It’s just hell you know… We should always have some…Why do we keep forgetting to get more before we run out?

MARCO:  Maybe we should quit.

JOSEPHINE:  I’m not quitting.

MARCO:  Why not?

JOSEPHINE:  I can’t.  –I don’t want to.

MARCO:  Yeah you can.  You can do anything.  We can do anything.

JOSEPHINE:  Why should I?  There’s nothing for me.  Nothing else but this.  There’s no where.  No one.  There’s nothing.

MARCO:  Nothing.  I think there’s everything.

JOSEPHINE:  This is everything, Marco.

MARCO:  Well, we got things started anyway.  You stopped working the streets.

JOSEPHINE:  But if I have to rely on John, or you, maybe I’ll start again.  Then I’ll get it when I need it.  I’ll be keeping myself busy when it’s not there.  I won’t be waiting around for you.

MARCO:  Don’t say that.  I don’t want you doing that again.

JOSEPHINE:  If it’s what I got to do…

MARCO:  I can bring in money.  You don’t need to.

JOSEPHINE:  It’s more than just money.

MARCO:  What is it then.

JOSEPHINE:  …nothing…I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

(silence)

MARCO:  I went to work-a-day.

JOSEPHINE:  Yeah, work A day.  One day for a fix.

MARCO:  I can go back.

JOSEPHINE:  And still I’ll be sitting here alone doing nothing.

MARCO:  We can go to a clinic, get jobs, maybe we can join the army.  Then we’ll have a place to sleep and food.  We’ll learn things.

JOSEPHINE:  You’re dreaming.  If we tried to change things, what then, Marco.  We’re not like other people.  There’ll always be the wall keeping us separate from those goddamn picket fences.  If I had a dog, it would shit on the fucking floor, then it would die.  If I had a job…I’d go insane.  I can’t change.  I don’t want to change.  Maybe you can, but you’ll be alone, because I can’t do it.

MARCO:  The only reason I have to quit is you.  If I quit alone…there’s no point.

JOSEPHINE:  I’m sorry Marco.

(silence)

MARCO:  Damn I need some shit.  It’s been a long fucking time.

JOSEPHINE:  Shit.

MARCO:  Josephine…right now there might be nothing.  This might be everything.  Maybe it is a dream.  But if I didn’t dream, there wouldn’t even be this.

JOSEPHINE:  It’s only bad to dream when you’re foolish enough to think you can make them come true.  We’re a joke.  We dream and they laugh at us and they’re right.  They see us one way and they’ll never see us different.  So that shit controls us because we have no reason to take control.

MARCO:  We can get control–

JOSEPHINE:  No, you don’t even know what I’m talking about.  You got no idea how I feel.  It’s all how you think, but I never know what you’re thinking and you never care how I feel.  It’s just that…I don’t want anyone to laugh at you.  How many times did we try to quit?

MARCO:  I don’t know.  I’m not ready to go through that again, I guess.  Not yet.  It’s like being lost in a country where you don’t speak the language.  I felt lost…Did you ever see “Invasion of the Body Snatchers?”

JOSEPHINE:  Yeah.

MARCO:  You know, with Donald Sutherland?  Well, remember how whenever the humans would show emotion, the aliens would point at them and scream?  Well, I felt like the humans in that movie.  I felt like that girl, wasn’t it the girl who was the only one left?  Donald Sutherland finally became one but she didn’t know it and she felt safe when she found him because they got separated, but then he pointed at her and screamed.  And she was the only one.

JOSEPHINE:  That was a good movie.  Remember the dog with the human head?

MARCO:  Yeah that was weird.

JOSEPHINE:  Well, that’s how I felt.

MARCO:  Weird.

JOSEPHINE:  No, I’m serious.  Like my mind and my body were against each other, but together, but it wouldn’t work.  Together they wouldn’t work.

MARCO:  Yeah, that’s weird.

(silence)

JOSEPHINE:  So this is all there is.  This is everything.

MARCO:  Josephine…

JOSEPHINE:  What?

MARCO:  What were you saying when I showed up?

JOSEPHINE:  I was thinking out loud…nothing.

MARCO:  It was something.  What is it?

JOSEPHINE:  I’m alone.

MARCO:  But you have me.

JOSEPHINE:  No, before me, you had something else.  Before you, I had this.  And you dream that one day you’ll have something else again.  Something, anything, somewhere else.

MARCO:  But–

JOSEPHINE:  No don’t say it’s not true.  Everytime we sit around waiting for the shit you bring up quitting, then when we get it, you forget you ever had the idea, but it’s because you know you can’t be without it.  You need some way to deal when it’s not here when you need it.  So you pretend like it’s a choice for you.  You won’t accept that you’ll never be able to quit so you dream.  I know I can’t so I’ve stopped fooling myself and I’m better off because there’s no disappointment.  You will always have disappointment, dreaming.

MARCO:  So what’s wrong with that?  At least I have hope.  My hope doesn’t make you alone.  You’re just selfish.

JOSEPHINE:  Half of you is not here, it’s somewhere else.  Always thinking of any other possibilty that might come up.  Anything that might change things for you.  And you really believe it’s the best for me, but it’s all you, because I’ll never get out of this.  And as long as you’re half here, I’ll be alone.  At any time, you could be gone.  One day you won’t be here anymore.

MARCO:  That won’t happen–

JOSEPHINE:  Shut up.  What do you have hope for anyway?  Coffee and a newspaper at the kitchen table every single fucking morning?  At least we don’t know what to expect.  We’re the ones who live.

MARCO:  This ain’t living.  I can tell you that.

JOSEPHINE:  So quit, maybe I want you to.  Maybe I don’t want you around anymore.  Maybe I–

MARCO:  Don’t play that game.  It’s old.  Show me something I don’t expect.

JOSEPHINE: (hits him)

MARCO:  I expected that.

JOSEPHINE:  Why do you have any hope.

MARCO:  Because I know you don’t.  One of us needs to.  In any situation, there always has to be the chance to change it.  Always.  That’s being human.  Animals can’t do that, make a choice to change.  They can only adapt.  You adapt like an animal.  But I like to know there’s a chance, especially because of you.  I won’t ever let you be alone.

JOSEPHINE:  We’re both alone because I have all of me in this and there’s only half of you.  We’re half together.

MARCO:  Maybe I’m stupid Josephine, but don’t two halves make a whole?

JOSEPHINE:  Don’t say shit like that!  I think I just know you can do it and I’m scared for when you do.  I’ll still be here.  And I want that…for you…but not for me.  You’re all I have.  And you hope for something other than what I can give you, but without you, I’d have no hope at all.

MARCO:  As long as you’re here, I will never be anywhere else.

JOSEPHINE:  I’m sorry.

MARCO:  I make my own choices.  There’s no reason to be sorry.

(as MARCO sits down against the wall, he gently brings JOSEPHINE down beside him)

JOSEPHINE:  It’s been so long.  What if John doesn’t come?

MARCO:  Then we’ll just have to get it somewhere else.

(silence, JOSEPHINE leans into MARCO’s arms)

END

Advertisements