When I came across this blog yesterday I knew it would be perfect to reblog something on Halloween. However, it’s more than that. Sandra at Enso Zombie is a brilliant and unique artist, that takes horror images, classic and contemporary genre images, and creates something I’ve never seen before. Definitely check this blog out. And Happy Halloween!
As I approach the barrier of my friend's guarded frame, the displeasure of his countenance haunts me yet again and I am weary whilst my body sways in hesitance and the morose uncertainty I cannot contain yet he counts upon me during this hour and has not confessed his deviant game during the course of his leading me into his darkened parlor, I have no control over his plan, no manner to deny, unless, as it is in my nature, would say I that this needs cease, however his demeanor, though the inherent greyest affect, is far from the same this is not my friend, or not anymore as I stepped upon the bloodied floor and I saw what he had done, now asking for my aid, and I must oblige to avoid disdain if only to be trusted and released with the intention of help to later seek and disclose the crime committed by this friend of mine yet before I could speak I myself was struck down and here I lie in the blood of the other I lie beside immobilized and pained plotting to avoid my own demise
Today I’m promoting an amazing woman, Core Fancy. I can’t possibly give an intro better than what she has to say in her own words via excerpts from her blogs, and a couple things she said to me in our emails as I was preparing for this. She’s a woman to admire and I highly recommend checking out her blogs.
“I have been writing for years and never had the guts to throw myself out there.”
“I have done a lot of ghostwriting, lyrics, and poetry for many, unfortunately without recognition.
“I also started CoreFancy which helps abused victims find themselves again through counseling, beauty, modeling, and group support.
“I currently live in Mexico and have started a tradeschool here for the less fortunate who can not afford high cost education, through sponsors and donators I am able to help people aquire skills to better their future.
“I LOVE writing and hope to at least publish one book before I die, but not just a fairytale, but a book with inspiration, adventure, poetry, lyrics, mystery, and a touching yet real ending.”
“I adopted the nickname Fancy from school for the way I dressed I rarely wore jeans,T-shirts, sweats or sneakers. I wore high heels, skirts, dresses,sparkle, and glitz! Hair always done along with manicures and pedicures…it was my way of feeling……… Fancy!
“But this name for me is a new beginning after Years of abuse and near death…. It’s a way for me to get rid of the name that stained my existence with horrible memories and turmoil! Now I live my life like a Butterfly just out of it’s cocoon that first flight after years of being bottled up in darkness is finally over….I am now Fearless and well on my way to finding me again!
“I am here to encourage all the women who have suffered and are suffering today that you can get away and there is better out there for you, you are worth more than you think you are….and even with the scars and bruises you can rise up brush off and start over…. if I can you can too!
“The hardest thing for me was fighting the feeling of worthlessness and not letting people hurt my already torn apart soul again and again it is almost impossible not to be sensitive to remarks when you suffered verbal abuse as well as physical I suffered every type of abuse and it takes alot of courage to face the world with all I have been through but if I can help at least one woman out there then it is well worth it….. I want all of you that have gone through this to know that I am here for you and I will share my story so you can see you are not alone, feel free to email me and we will fight abuse together so our children don’t end up following our tragic cycles…I am one woman who fought and won! Your’s Truly, Fancy :)”
The Beauty of Survival
“My life Story (Not Pretty)”
“A blanket of complete fear covered me as I walked slowly to my car slightly turning my head just enough to get a glimpse out the corner of my eye. Hoping for a clean get away, with a rock in the pit of my stomach and an incredible bout of the shakes, I found it nearly impossible to open the car door with my keys, struggling to gain control of my hand I nearly drop the keys slightly scratching the white paint. My eyes begin to sting and ache from the constant scanning of my surroundings. Finally I get in lock the doors, frantically turn to put my seat belt around me and to my horror he stood face to face in the drivers side window raising his fist with a red wrapped handkerchief …SLAM!!! Repeatedly he pounded the window cracking it! I knew the next hit would be enough to shatter the glass! I had to gun it! I put the car in reverse driving over his foot and with spinning tires I pushed the pedal to the floor and didn’t dare look back!”
“I am a dedicated business woman, a Model, Singer, Photographer, Cartoonist, and Writer. I also design web pages, help market and promotes businesses using a wide range of techniques. I am bilingual, work with many outreach programs and a mother of three! I involve myself in many programs, charities and drives, such as…Reading to Children and Cancer Patients, Working with Big Brother and Big Sister Organizations, JP Morgan, as well as Domestic Violence Outreach! My goal is to change the thought process of many young woman who’s sense of reality is often warped by the mind games of abusers, who live to find them, and use them as pawns to further boost their ego! In simple terms…..It’s important to make your own opinions and decide your own destiny!!!! You don’t have to think like him, be what he wants you to be or do what he demands you do! It’s a free country, you have the right to speak your opinions. Why can’t you do it in a relationship and not get knocked down for it?”
Fancy’s other sites:
Lastly, I asked Fancy to send photos for me to include in the post. She included this photo below, and had this to say about it:
“The last photo means a lot to me. It was my last day of treatment for cancer and I was laying in my hammock in the back yard of my house. Recovering, feeling weak, but at the same time relieved and happy I made it through!
“My butterfly tattoo was my way of saying, I have a new beginning after all I have suffered, I am going to fly!”
November 1, 2012
This girl came into the book store. She had really really tight pink pants and combat boots. Her hair was shaved up to her eyebrow level and her hair was straight, long over the shaved bit to the nape of her neck, but part of it was up in a pony tail. It was blue with blonde streaks. She had 3 earrings in each ear, a nose ring, lip ring, and an eye brow ring. She had a little daisy tattoo beside her eye. She had a tattoo of daisies, looking like they were falling from her neck down her shoulder blade and her arm to her elbow. I saw the tattoo because she took off her hoodie when she came in. She had a grey tank underneath and no bra. Nice. She was skinny and had nice tits, small, but I like when they’re all nipple. …
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This is the most amazing tribute for me as a writer to have one of my characters analyzed and used in a thematic post. Thanks so much Adrienne!
Yesterday I mentioned how modernism is informing my novel writing which made me think of another writer’s excellent blog set up as a fictional journal of a great character named Wall Grimm. As a warning I will say that the blog is R-rated for mature content (sometimes as I read it I’m thinking –Wall, too much information! But then it is supposed to be a private journal :)).
Wall Grimm has some issues. He’s in love with Emma, but he’s also in love with drugs and sex any way he can get it. He’s a complex and lovably screwed up character. I think I like Wall so much because he sums up what the last few generations of Americans have had to deal with—free sex, confused feminism and a feeling that just out of reach is a thing, a way of living that offers real beauty but seems impossible to…
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October 29, 2013
On Sunday I thought more about how I block my abilities, so I decided to go to the park and people watch for a while. I wanted to practice turning it on and turning it off at will, so that I could block without thinking of it. I like the ability to be more aware of what’s going on with other people, but I want to filter it. I want less detail. I don’t want to invade privacy and there are some things I just don’t want to know. I didn’t take Gary Oldman (II) with me, because I didn’t want any distractions.
I sat there and it was kind of cold, but the thing about centering yourself like that, you build up this energy, basically your life force, and then you are warm. It’s called Chi, or Prana, but I like to refer to it as Ka, which is Ancient Egyptian. I also like to call it Numa, as it’s called by the Strega, the Italian Witches, but mostly I like Anima. When I was a kid my mother used to call me Spirto, because I had a big soul, old soul, strong spirit, or I was very spirited. She called me that basically for all those reasons. She’d call me Valente Spirto when she was mad and Valspirto when she was amused. She hasn’t called me that in a long time, because I changed my name to Wall. So she struggles to call me Wall or Grimm and occasionally calls me Valente. The Spirto never has the chance to come out. I guess I’ve been blocking in that way too.
Anyway, when you focus, the energy just raises up, and it’s like you’re in this private realm that nothing can penetrate. Yet you’re not trapped within it, you just feel balanced and calm, and you can freely interact with other people without disturbing it. The more energy you build up, the more draining it can be, it’s just a matter of the strength of your abilities and how much practice you’re in. For me it’s easy to do it, like I never stopped, and doesn’t drain me at all. In fact, getting into that realm only took me about two seconds.
I’ve been blocking, but this energy you can also use when you’re angry. People usually know when I’m pissed off and this energy kind of keeps them away from me. It’s strong enough for them to sense the ‘fuck off’ kind of vibe I guess.
So yeah, I digress, after I was in my realm, I began to observe different people. I saw a couple old guys on a bench. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but they were having a quiet, congenial conversation, and they laughed a lot. I knew that they were both widowers. One of the men, his wife died last year. The other wife died a couple years before that. The first wife died of cancer. The second wife died in her sleep of natural causes. She had been in a nursing home, because she kept falling and he was afraid he couldn’t take care of her. He hated doing it and believes that she would still be alive if he didn’t put her there. But their kids stepped it and it was overwhelming with all sorts of decisions and everything was so fast and it seemed like so many people were talking all at once most times. He tried to focus on what was best for her, but…
I was really getting lost in it. Partly this is why I blocked it. It can be distracting and can prevent me from direct interaction with people, while I get lost more and more deeply in other people’s worlds, delving into personal histories, seeing it all clearly like I’m reading a novel. Anyway, I was about to get real deep and then a woman and her baby walked by. Instantly I knew that something was up with Sweetheart and Valentina. I ran all the way home. It’s kind of awkward running in my Stepping Wolves, but I did it. And when I got there, I saw Sweetheart half way down the street walking away from my apartment. She had Valentina in the snuggly. She was wearing a backpack and carrying the diaper back strapped over her shoulder. She was fucking leaving me.
I made it to my front door and I yelled “Elaina!” I never call her by her name but I did not feel like calling her Sweetheart at that point. She turned and said she needed to leave. I told her to “get over here” so we can talk. She said no. I said “get the fuck over here right fucking now.”
She walked over and told me she was leaving. I said that she can’t just leave, that’s not fair, it’s my baby. Then I said she can fucking leave if she wants, I don’t give a shit, but leave the baby with me. She said no and started to walk away. I told her to get inside so we can talk, but she said no. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her over to me. She pulled away and started walking again. I grabbed her again and I said get the fuck inside. The baby started crying. I opened the door and by keeping a grip on her arm, I forcibly moved her in. Then there was the security door and the apartment door, both locked, that I had to contend with, all while I was just trying to get her in so we could talk. There was no way we could figure this out if we didn’t talk. That’s all I wanted. I just knew for a fact that if I let her walk away, I’d probably never see my baby again. And I was furious. I can’t believe she was just going to fucking leave without talking to me first, no note, nothing, just like after she found out she was pregnant. And she has the fucking balls to come back and I’ve accommodated her, and taken on the role as a father, and she was just going to leave again.
Anyway, we struggled for a good half hour during the entire process. She was telling me to stop, I was hurting her, I was scaring her, and the baby was crying, but I only was grabbing her by the upper arms and kind of using my body to block her in while I unlocked the doors. I wasn’t trying to hurt her or be so physical but I had no choice. We needed to talk and getting her inside was my only opportunity for that. And I was especially careful not to do anything that would hurt the baby. I felt bad that the baby was crying and probably scared. I wanted to hold her and tell her she was safe, but everything that I wanted to do that was peaceful and rational, Sweetheart fought against.
Once inside, she ran to my room, slammed the door and locked it. I began kicking the door and shouldering it and I have to say it looks much easier in the movies. It also appears easier on the body in the movies. Since kicking it was sending shock waves up my legs and I bruised up my arm and shoulder pretty bad. During the process I was shouting that she can’t lock me out of my own room and I only wanted to talk. But I finally busted the door in, and Sweetheart and the baby were crying and Sweetheart said, “no Grimm, please no!” in this desperate voice as if I was going to kill her.
And it was at the point that the door bust in and they were crying like that, that Pete walked in with the police. He didn’t bring them, someone called, he just let them up, figuring whatever they were there to investigate had to be some kind of a mistake.
But writing this is pissing me off, so I’m going to set my journal aside for a while until I can clear my head and finish my story.
Akira Okihu is the amazing and talented young blogger who organized the story “The Manes”, for which I wrote part 2. I think you will agree with me how ambitious he is after you read this promo for his blog, “A Corner of My Mind” http://akirastories.wordpress.com/ Be sure to read through this entire promo, since there are some intriguing interactive opportunities Akira has planned…
“A Corner of My Mind” http://akirastories.wordpress.com/
So, what’s the blog all about?
My blog is as much about writing as about community, so, for easy understanding, I divided it up in two parts: my work as a writer and “Project Infinity”.
-My work as a writer…
On this blog I publish a new short story every week, for working my skills or just for fun. The short stories vary a lot, usually without a certain category in mind. When I am posting a short story I usually don’t go with the “And they lived happily ever after” ending, not only for the cliché in it but also because I want my stories to leave a mark, to raise questions or just to be different.
Besides the short stories, I also work on a collection of stories to post there, and a novella, all for the blog.
What’s the best part of it? Everything is free! My blog is running with a creative commons license, so you can simply modify anything on my blog and post it on yours, or even sell it, as long as I and my blog get credit. Also, the e-books which I will publish will be mostly free (all of them, with some exceptions).
So, how will they be free and how will I make a living out of it?
My blog has a big donation button on the right and a donation page. I even take special requests from donors, which I will try to accomplish. If you don’t have ideas, I will also post a “Paid Services” page, in which you basically donate and you have premade special requests.
My e-books will get special treatment and I will publish them using Gumroad. Why Gumroad? As I said, all of them will be free, but Gumroad has a special feature in which you can tip the author as much as you want. So I let you estimate how much my work is worth.
-And what about “Project Infinity”?
Project Infinity is a world-building project in which the community matters the most. My ambition is to not only create a civilization, but also an alphabet, a language (with it’s own rules), the whole fauna and flora, dictionaries and more!
While I can do this all alone, I decided to let this world be used by anyone, adding their own inventions to it. That’s why the community matters the most. If anyone wants to write something about it, legends, encyclopedias or anything else they can contact me (with their work finished) and I will post it on my blog (giving the credit for the writer, of course!).
And not only dozens of pages, I also post little things from the community, like a word in the language of the civilization we are making or an illustration about a legend, a new plant for the world and more.
This is an ambitious project and I try to create a world not only for me, but for any writer who wants a special place for their characters. What’s the best about it is that it is always changing and everyone can modify the world as they want, all thanks to Creative Commons.
About the author:
My name is Liviu Marian Sopon, but I’d rather be called Akira Okihu. I was born on the third day of the month and the third day of the week, on 3rd February 1999 (I was born on a Wednesday).
At my age, I do what most people do, I dream! So, what was my dream since I was young? To be a full time writer. Unfortunately, this wasn’t realistic in my country and I understood that if I ever want to do something like this, I have to go international.
There are some mistakes in my grammar and also in my writing (a lot less here, thanks to the proof-reading tools), but I hope that, with the help of the community, I will get better.
I always enjoyed writing stories, sometimes very weird… It’s nice to come across old memories, so expect a little weirdness in my writing. (for example, I once wrote a story in a story in a story…). I enjoy creating, a lot! Just that, in my country, writers don’t get much, mostly disapprovement and laughs.
After sending a book to one of our biggest publishing houses I had to wait an year (their limit, as they said, was 6 months, for when they had too many books to review) for 20 pages to be read. And not only that, but I also had to call them more than was normal, just for a single word: NO. That’s the reason I decided to open a blog.
For now I can keep this blog free and not get any revenue from it, but the time will come when I won’t be able to do this anymore (in a few years, nothing to get scared of), that’s why I am starting now, when I can make the most out of my free-time. I understand that I will have to keep a family, so in hopes of being a non-profit author, getting money solely from donations, I wish to become a full-time writer!
But that’s up to you to decide.
October 21, 2012
Dinner at Emma’s, well, what can I say except that I have become a fool with my new expectations. Or I have always been a fool and my expectations have become more foolish. Emma made me lasagna, because she knows I love lasagna. I love my Italian fare mmmmmmmm…
So yeah, dinner was nice and she even played some Dean Martin, lit some candles, and we had chianti. Basically the evening was set up for romance. She was romancing her Sicilian friend, or so I thought. We have never had any awkward moments in our friendship, apart from when we were kissing that one time recently. She slapped me and left, but then she blew it off the next time I talked to her like nothing happened and like I was nuts for thinking she was pissed off at me. No awkward moments even after she ‘liked’…
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I’ve made a choice to support my fellow writers whenever possible. And here’s how….
I’ve been thinking about what it takes to get published, and how complicated it can be to self-promote once you have a book in circulation. Personally, I have a hard time with self-promotion, since I’m kind of shy. I’d rather be the reclusive writer, just put my words out there, completely detached from my self as a person. This is one of the reasons why a penname suits me. So there are some people who cringe at the thought of doing promotional leg work. There are others who have that dynamic enthusiasm and are willing to put themselves out there. Either way, you’re welcome to promote here.
As some of you know, I’ve just started Facebook. People in my real life have been hounding me forever to do it, but I’m stubborn. They didn’t actually win the fight though, since 99.999753%…
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These ounces of me, exuding that immensity which carries you through, and yet you are not happy all that I do, it's all I want to do to take on your burdens so you can breathe and make you happy cry to me, let your tears fall on me though I don't own that anger it birthed not from me I'm the one that sucks it up and takes it in if only to free you of it so you can be happy and the more I take of your anguish and the more I give of myself the more you pull away the less you are happy it hurts me because I am not the enemy and I strive for you, I push to the limits for you I give more of myself than there is to give, for you I will do whatever I can for you to make you happy call me a sucker, if you want if that's what it takes to make you happy