October 24, 2013
I haven’t written much in the journal because the times I normally would, early in the morning when no one else is awake, and some other times, I’m up with Valentina. In my head I still think of her as Alice. I think “Alice” and she looks at me. I think she has my abilities. But she’s a baby so can’t block them. I’m beginning to wonder if maybe I shouldn’t block mine anymore. I think that maybe by blocking them, I’m hindering a part of my nature, and that is causing some kind of imbalance. A spiritual and mental imbalance affecting my emotional and psychological well-being. I just don’t want to know things about people. Yet I could learn to control those abilities instead of blocking them entirely. Then I might end up making better choices, if I have a better sense about things.
Anyway, here’s a recap of my week so far. My name is Wall Grimm and this is my recap:
WALL GRIMM’S WEEK
Blues Monday. Went to play the blues with The Convoy and Edie was there again. I went out to have a smoke at one point and she came out too. She bummed a cigarette off me. We were talking and she was really flirty. I mean, any guy reading the signals she was giving off would have felt confident that she wanted to fuck him. So of course, that’s what I thought. This provoked me to put my arm around her waist, pull her into me and kiss her. But she pushed me away and was like, “what are you doing??” She pushed me again and stormed inside. I turned and Howard had just come out. He told me to leave his granddaughter alone. I told him I thought she wanted me to kiss her. But I was kind of annoyed and insulted because I read between the lines. He doesn’t think I’m good enough for his granddaughter. I was embarrassed and ashamed and feeling like a piece of shit. I wanted to leave, but I stayed. I just didn’t sing or play anymore and I didn’t really talk to anyone. Hopefully Edie won’t be there next week. If she is, I don’t want to go anymore. It kind of ruins it for me.
Sharly had two guys come into the store at two different times that wanted her bad. She knew them, hadn’t asked them to come, but they were clearly in hot pursuit. Losers. She’s very openly a lesbian and even lives with her girlfriend. I don’t even think she’s bisexual. The first guy looked like Buster Keaton, so he was just this pathetic guy that was more of a bunny rabbit. She was nice to him. Then there was this other guy who was more of a Chazz Palminteri type. More coercive and definitely didn’t want to take no for an answer. He followed her into the back room. Sharly’s tall, about my height of 5’10” if not slightly taller. This guy was like 6’2″. She’s a strong woman and can hold her old, so I’m sure she would have been ok, but I just didn’t like his tenacity. He was trying to be all suave and shit, thinking his charm would make her straight and she’d swoon. It was like he was baffled that a woman didn’t want him. He had that attitude if she had a real man aka himself, she’d change her ways. That attitude pisses me off. He followed her in there, so I followed him.
I said, “you’re not allowed back here.”
He said, “beat it kid.”
I wanted to punch his fucking face in. But then Sharly could get in trouble because I’m an employee of her store. That’s the only reason I didn’t. I get impressed with myself when I have forethought over impulsivity.
I said, “you need to leave, because you don’t want me to make you leave. Believe me, you don’t want that.”
He fucking laughed in my face.
I said, “You’re not laughing in my face are you? You seriously can’t be laughing in my face. Because I’m not gonna handle that too well.”
He laughed, looked at Sharly and said, “who is this fucking kid? This kid’s great.” And he slapped his hand on my face and neck like some Mafioso wanna-be.
Then impulsivity ruled over forethought and I punched him in the fucking face. He did not expect that. Sharly stepped in, told me to go back to the register, asked him if he was ok and told him just to leave. He tossed some words at me on the way out, words like, “you look stupid you know, with that blue hair,” mumbling like a pussy as he went out the door.
Sharly came over to me and laughed. She said he was harmless, I didn’t need to do that, but she was glad to see him get punched in the face, it was a long time coming.
On my break at the store I looked through a book “Ancient Egyptian Magic” by Bob Brier. There were spells for replacing a head, becoming a child again, to be a god, have power over the winds, to avoid decapitation, for not eating or stepping in excrement, and a spell that will make you remember your previous life after you die and are reincarnated.
But this one is my favorite:
Spell to Make Love Day and Night (in the Next World)
In other words, it’s a spell so that you can have perpetual sex after you die. Nice.
Here it is, spell number 576 taken from “The Book of the Dead”:
“Copulating by a man in the realm of the dead. My eyes are the lion, my phallus Babi, I am the Outcast, seed is in my mouth, my head is in the sky, my head is on earth. I am one having power in my heart…. I am one who ejaculates when he knits together. I ejaculate seed as that one and this one.
“As for any man who shall know this spell, he shall copulate in this land by night and day, and desire shall come to the woman beneath him whenever he copulates. To be recited over a bead of carnelian or of amethyst, to be placed on the right arm of the deceased.”
Well ok. I ummmmm don’t think I’ll do that. Maybe I’ll do the one about not eating shit.